The Ultimate!

So I'm writing to you today deep in thought. Its been plaguing my mind as of late. You know that all time question, "What are we here for?" Now some of you may never think of this question, but, I think of this question almost daily. Weird I know, however you know how some people are like I know what I want to do with my life and they are only like 3yrs old. 1yr ago I would have bet my life on the fact that I was put on this earth to be a wife and a mother! Well if you know me at all you know I have neither. NOW that does not mean I don't WANT either of those. Cuz as we all know I WANT to be a wife. But maybe my thinking that I should be a wife is just that my thinking. Maybe its not what God has in store for me. Or for that matter to be a mom. But I ask you why then does it weigh so much on my heart and mind. Why can't I go to bed at night and SLEEP knowing that it really is all in his plan. It Iritates me. AND for that matter if its NOT supposed to happen for me couldn't he just make that known to so I can get over it an move on? Now this is not a simple poor Kerry pity post. Its just something I was thinking on as of late. I was talking to a friend at work and she used to be a liscensed foster parent and was telling me the ins and outs of it. It sounds hard, emotional, hard, fun, hard, and maybe even a little rewarding. Now call me sentimental but all these thoughts came to my while watching the BLIND SIDE. Have you seen it? Well its good. BUT my point is this. I WANT THAT! I WANT my life to mean something to someone someday. Is that too much to ask. I feel like its just me in this little apartment, all I do is work, sleep, eat, and more work. Is that enough. Will it ever be enough to take that void away that screams at me that I want a family of my own? I don't know I guess I just want to know that Someone someday will show up to my funeral and that my absence in this world will be greatly missed. (beside by my nephews) :):)