My AH HA Moment!!!!!

Yeah you know what I'm talking about that oint in your life when your like DUH!!! Should seen that one coming! Well this post is simply to state to all of you...LISTEN TO IT!!!!!!! I had and Ah HA moment this past weekend and DIDN"T listen to it and well lets just say I'm still paying for that mistake! :) Oh yeah Smirnoff Ice=Happy Kerry, Rum and Coke= Bitter Kerry! :):)

The Ultimate!

So I'm writing to you today deep in thought. Its been plaguing my mind as of late. You know that all time question, "What are we here for?" Now some of you may never think of this question, but, I think of this question almost daily. Weird I know, however you know how some people are like I know what I want to do with my life and they are only like 3yrs old. 1yr ago I would have bet my life on the fact that I was put on this earth to be a wife and a mother! Well if you know me at all you know I have neither. NOW that does not mean I don't WANT either of those. Cuz as we all know I WANT to be a wife. But maybe my thinking that I should be a wife is just that my thinking. Maybe its not what God has in store for me. Or for that matter to be a mom. But I ask you why then does it weigh so much on my heart and mind. Why can't I go to bed at night and SLEEP knowing that it really is all in his plan. It Iritates me. AND for that matter if its NOT supposed to happen for me couldn't he just make that known to so I can get over it an move on? Now this is not a simple poor Kerry pity post. Its just something I was thinking on as of late. I was talking to a friend at work and she used to be a liscensed foster parent and was telling me the ins and outs of it. It sounds hard, emotional, hard, fun, hard, and maybe even a little rewarding. Now call me sentimental but all these thoughts came to my while watching the BLIND SIDE. Have you seen it? Well its good. BUT my point is this. I WANT THAT! I WANT my life to mean something to someone someday. Is that too much to ask. I feel like its just me in this little apartment, all I do is work, sleep, eat, and more work. Is that enough. Will it ever be enough to take that void away that screams at me that I want a family of my own? I don't know I guess I just want to know that Someone someday will show up to my funeral and that my absence in this world will be greatly missed. (beside by my nephews) :):)

Size 0 by my Birthday!!! Part THREE!!!

Well I did it I finally hit that 20lb mark. I feel like I've had quite the accomplishment and I'm soooooo not ready to give up. I've even gotten to were even though I'm tired I still want my work out. I go a minimum of 2x's a week to weigh in and actually look forward to it. So its going great. At work we have our own little Biggest Loser going on and I am the winner for the week. The person who wins gets $300, but the ends not till April sometime! :) I'm well on my way though. So enough of that. I had a very profound thought this week and thought i would ask it of all my readers. Why, I ask you, do we never want something until, of course, we can't have it??? Now I'm sure we all have asked this question at some point in our life. However the past few weeks it really has come to the front for me! Other than that not much else. Preston has to have surgery on his eye, I'm still single, I'm well on my way to size 0, Got my car back and fixed, and yes still working 3 jobs! :)